FUN STORY

September 3, 2010

WHY DIDN'T YOU REFUSE IT?

After the Football match, a player went home with a sorrowful face.

His surprised wife asked:

- Why are you so sad? What's the matter? He answered sadly:

- Today I got a Yellow card.

- So, did you want to get it?

- Of course not. The wife was upset:

- If you didn't want to get it why didn't yo

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u refuse it? But you did accept it, so now you are sad.

Little Johnny Boy

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.
“Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself”

Because of absence

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

Stone and Stone - Breaker

A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began:
“My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there’ll be trouble. Don’t try any tricks with me, and then we’ll get on well together.”
Then he went to each soldier one after the other and asked him his name. “Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,” he said, and don’t forget to call me "sir".
Each soldier told him his name, until he came to the last one. This man remained last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, “When I ask you a question, answer it! I’ll ask you again: What’s your name, soldier?”
The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied.
“My name’s Stone-breaker, sir”, he said nervously.

Lucy

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First, she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "when I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam."
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren’t you pleased that you’ve come to live with us now?"

Handwriting

Sir” hissed the lawyer, “do you swear this is not your signature?”
“Yes.”
“Is it not your handwriting?”
“Nope”
“You take your solemn oath that this writing does not resemble yours in a single particular?”
“Yes”
“How can you be certain?”, demanded the lawyer.
“I can’t write,” smiled the man.

Radio Broken

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”
The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.
“This Indian is incredible,” said the director.
He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him.
“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “Radio is broken.”

Elevator

A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.
The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?”
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded,
“Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching wide- eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and with a cane, slowly walks up to the moving walls, and presses a button. The walls opened, and the lady walks between them, into a small room. The walls closed. The boy and his father watched as small circles of lights with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up, in reverse direction now. The walls opened up again, and walls opened up again, and a beautiful young blonde steeped out… The father said to his son,
“Go get your mother!!!”